Lets face it. You should buy me a cheeseburger. Really. As a kind human reading this post, you probably want to do good in some way. Here’s my reason for you to assist me in the procuring of food supplies in the form of a grilled beef and cheese sandwich on a bun.

My Bank Account Is Minimal

I don’t spend too much money on a weekly basis. I can’t, I get about $100 a week in my paycheck. And minimal financial aid from the government to assist my schooling. And a phone bill (which is needed for work contact). And a need for a car. And a need for food. This makes my account seem thin. Really, really, really thin. REALLY thin. If the food issue is assisted, then I will be a lot less worried.

I’m Not A Cat

Being a human gives me a benifit. I am not a cat. I can appriciate a cheeseburger, and all of the delectableness it provides. I won’t get bored of said cheeseburger and wander away for some small animal to kill. Nor will I pounce on your head durring the night. You’ll find I’m quite asleep at that time, unlike your cat.

Sometimes You Need a Good Deed to Do

Doing good deeds, like buying someone a cheeseburger, makes you feel good. It gives you a warm/fuzzy feeling inside that you wish you had. You want that warm/fuzzy. You need that warm/fuzzy. Warm. Fuzzy. Warm. Fuzzy.

Warm…

Fuzzy…

Warm…

Fuzzy…

…

…

Cheeseburger…

It’s Food

Food is fairly easy to obtain. Anyone can get it. But, it costs money. You have money. You have a little extra money. I can take care of that for you.

…I Love You?

Buy me a cheeseburger, and I will be forever in your debt, which I will pay by friendship. I’ll friend you on Facebook. I’ll follow you on Twitter. If I see you in real life, I’ll give you a hug! Donate cheeseburgers to me, and you gain a friend!

AWESOME! How Do I Donate!?

Easy. Click this button:

 or click the button in the sidebar. This will take you to my Paypal donate page. Once there, you can choose whatever amount you want to donate. But remember that with tax, a cheeseburger is $1.06 at least. I get the money! Or, if you want to donate in person, just find me. I only accept real life donations from people I know in real life, so Bill, in Sasachuwan? I’m sorry. You need to use the donate link.

Rules! (Because There Has To Be Some Regulation Here…)

1. You may pick the food that I buy and eat. It is not limited to cheeseburger, that’s just the default if no one says anything. Just be sure I am able to get the food easily. If it’s something only served in some random place, then no. I default to cheeseburger. If it’s chicken fried steak, I’ll find a place that sells it, and eat it. If it’s sushi of a partiulat type (tuna, crab, etc), I’ll eat it. The food has to be food, as well. If it is known to make people sick, like dirt, or will kill me, like lye, I default to cheeseburger. If it is not food, I won’t attempt to eat it.
2. I will post pictures of the food, and of me eating it. I have to prove that I ate it. I’ll post pics. If it’s something random, I’ll post a minireview of the food product. If it’s something I had before, I’ll post it to that page.
3. You must contact me with your donation amount and email so I can send you the link to the newly updated page where I posted the pics. If you want to specify a food, you have to tell me in the notes where you make the donation, or via my contact page.
4. These rules are subject to change at anytime, and are not legally binding. This is just a self imposed guidelines that I’ll follow for donated money for food.

So, please! Donate to Ryan’s Cheeseburger Fund!